OmniVeggie

"There's no food in your food!" - Hannah



Men are idiots. When faced with insurmountable odds, they do one of two things. The first is to surmount them, regardless of the odds. They take elephants over the Alps. They rush into burning buildings. They create the Guggenheim in New York. The other thing is to sit around in their underwear all day, scratching themselves and questioning whether or not they should get busy doing something.

More often than not, it's the latter and rarely the former.

I myself was faced with insurmountable odds this weekend. Hannah was away. She scooted off to exotic locales, leaving the bed cool to the touch on her side. This also meant that, while lonesome, I was unsupervised when it came to kitchenery.

On Friday, I ate a quarter of a pound of Tater Tots and three hot dogs that I wanted to get out of the freezer. I should have gussied that up with some wine, but eh. Saturday was not much different. For breakfast, I had frozen waffles that we'd made a month and a half ago. But tonight for supper?

We live in the Greekest neighborhood on the planet. Honestly, I think it's Greekier than Athens. This is great if you like lamb, meat on sticks, baklava or olive oil. I haven't had lamb yet (I'm a little scairt to try it, but I'm sure eventually, I'll grow the cajones to do so.), but the rest of those things? Awesome. And my favorite thing to get in Astoria?

Gyro.



Oh my holy God.

We have a place, appropriately named the Ditmars Gyro Place. Coolest little spot. They sell gyro (yee-roe). For about $5, you can get a chicken or beef gyro with everything on it. And you can get it to go. Tzatziki, onion, lettuce, tomato (though they are woefully out of season right now), and beef (allegedly) on a warm pita. Wrap that delightful meaty confection in wax paper and aluminum (aluminium) foil, and you have meal to go.

I'm not saying that it's good for you. I'm not even saying that it's the greatest food in the world (buckwheat cacao nib cookies are in the running there). What I am saying is that it is delicious. It is wonderful. It's fatty, and has a bite to it and the tzatziki sauce is cool and creamy and the veggies, when fresh, snap. The pita, as one might expect in the Greekest neighborhood in the world, is fabulous.

I also don't want you to think that this is the be all end all to gyros. But it is pretty fabulous.

Beats Alba's.


Oh, and incidentally, I came up with a little song to go along with the consumption of the gyro. It is sung to the tune of "The Dreidel Song." Feel free to add your own lyrics. They have to rhyme. And send them to us!

The Gyro Song
Lyrics by Matthias; Music Traditional

Oh gyro gyro gyro!
Wrapped in pita bread!
Gyro Gyro Gyro,
I'll shove you in my head!

You are my tasty gyro
Stuffed with mystery meat
With lettuce and tzatziki
Oh, gyro I will eat!

Oh gyro gyro gyro!
Wrapped in pita bread!
Gyro Gyro Gyro,
I'll shove you in my head!


But now my Hannah is back and I'm on detox. Huzzah. Sometimes it's fun to eat poorly. Just tear your insides to shreds. Then you heal them up with something delicious and healthy like sushi. That's what we had last night.

Oh, yeah. And tonight?

Don't you wish you were here to find out?