OmniVeggie

This will be a monthly feature, occurring after we have gotten through the previous month, in order to properly represent the scariest recipe that we have found of that particular month.


Hannah and I are Food Network junkies. We make sure that, every day, if we can, we watch Giada, Ina Garten (crazy bitch) and then follow it all up with that dame of domesticity, that paragon of the palette, you know her, you love her, the one, the only...

PAULA DEEN!!!!

This Episode aired February 14th, Valentine's Day, and let me tell you, whoever got this recipe for a Valentine totally hates their life. Without further ado, and without dragging this out much further, so that I can appropriately ridicule this recipe:

Paula Deen's Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole.

This is the most horrifying foodstuff we can think of. Absolutely. Hands down. There is nothing on this planet that is more disgusting to think of than ham and bananas. Except maybe cheese and bananas. From Food Network's Website:

"Today’s show is all about bananas and wait till you see some of the sweet and savory dishes Paula’s got up her sleeves. First off are her crunchy and buttery Curry Crusted Bananas. Then she’s turning bananas into a savory Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole--wait till you see the surprise ingredient she’s adding. She’ll top off the menu with a Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich that is so sweet and delicious, you may want to save some for dessert."

The surprise ingredient? Are you sure it's not...HAM? Because I was pretty damned surprised to find out that you were adding lunchmeat to bananas. Lunch. Meat. Also, please be sure to pay attention to the rest of those things: Curry crusted bananas. Curry. Crusted. Bananas. And the Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich. I can't fault her on that last one. I have in fact had one of those and yes, they are delicious. Strange in texture, but delicious nonetheless.

This post, however, is not about The King's culinary proclivities. This is about a Banana ham fuck brain aneurysm.

Oh, Paula.

So this month, Paula wins the dubious award of "Scariest Recipe of The Month." If any of you are brave enough to try this, I've enclosed the recipe.

And any one of you chef's in training: send us your scariest recipe and see if you can't beat Paula in March.


Paula Deen's Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole
(Recipe courtesy of PaulaDeen.com)

Butter
12 slices white bread
8 large slices deli ham
4 bananas, sliced on the bias
2 cups shredded Cheddar
2 cups crushed potato chips
6 slices cooked and crumbled bacon
4 large eggs
1 cup milk
1 cup cream
Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Butter a 9 by 13 glass baking dish. Butter both sides of the bread and layer 6 of them into the bottom of the baking dish, overlapping them as necessary but keep them even. Layer the slices of ham on top of the bread and then the bananas, 6 more slices of bread, then the cheese, potato chips, and bacon. In a separate bowl, beat together the eggs, milk, cream, nutmeg, salt, and pepper. Pour this over the casserole almost to the top. Bake for 45 minutes until brown and bubbly. Cut into squares and remove with a spatula, like lasagna.

Yeugh.