Peanut butter sandwiches hardly seem blogworthy. I am pretty sure I made my first one all by myself right after I swore off bologna at age 4. I used to get teased in elementary, middle, and high school because I always had a vegetable, a fruit, and some variation on peanut butter (usually in a pita, on wheat bread, or with strawberry jam) instead of a conglomerated meat sandwich and an industrial snack cake. In those days, it was crunchy Jif and Smucker's strawberry jam. For a brief interlude I convinced myself that reduced fat Jif just tasted so much better. But, that is just crazy talk.
So, when Matthias decided on Monday that taking 4 hours to roast a baby sheep would be a good idea, I thought something simple, or better yet, elemental would be in order for lunch. I am a plain girl. My mom calls me her 'Plain Jane' (I get it honestly. This is her old nickname). I own 4 gray T-shirts, leaving 3 days a week to wear something else. I like food that tastes wholesome and simple. I don't need my tastebuds to be dazzled, or confused, or overwhelmed. I want my life to be honest, genuine, fair, and just. Begin political tirade:
That said....I highly recommend that you use all natural, unsalted peanut butter to make your sandwich. Get this, it actually tastes like peanuts (aherm, Matthias...not corn syrup, hydrogenated oil, salt, and peanuts). If you choose to augment your sandwich with fruit or some other sweetness, please make sure your jam does not have high fructorse corn syrup, or any other unidentifiable ingredients. We like St. Dalfour jam (we know, it's not local, and we're sorry, Earth. We have plans to jam our own when we have more than one refrigerator/freezer/counter shelf between the two of us) or raw honey. Matthias loves his sandwich with bananas. Now, we should talk about bananas.
To accompany our sandwiches, we decided to make smoothies. Matthias is of the opinion that smoothies cannot be made without bananas. I am of the opinion that bananas are one of those things that people can and absolutely should do without unless they are organic and fairly traded. Without further soapboxing, I give you:
Bananas-Are-Not-Negotiable smoothie
Serves 2
1 small apple, diced
1 orange, peeled and sectioned
¾ medium banana
½ cup unsweetened soymilk
½ cup Greek yogurt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp agave nectar
3 ice cubes
Blend until combined.
Author's note: Use fruit that looks good to you. Please do not buy blueberries from Chile in March just because they are full of antioxidants. Please do not buy Driscoll’s strawberries, I don’t care how big and juicy they look. Their workers have not been fairly compensated, and their farming practices are partially culpable for the thick central California air (try breathing it from May-October with asthma). And for pity’s sake, try unrelentingly to petition for and purchase fairly traded bananas, because banana farmers are truly some of the worst worker’s rights offenders and some of the most vibrant vestiges of Cold War politics. And trust me, you don’t want to eat your smoothie with a guilty conscience on the side. You want to eat it with a peanut butter sandwich.
End tirade.
Further reading: Co-op America, New York, I'm looking at you, Fair Trade Federation, Banana Wars
This will be a monthly feature, occurring after we have gotten through the previous month, in order to properly represent the scariest recipe that we have found of that particular month.
Hannah and I are Food Network junkies. We make sure that, every day, if we can, we watch Giada, Ina Garten (crazy bitch) and then follow it all up with that dame of domesticity, that paragon of the palette, you know her, you love her, the one, the only...
PAULA DEEN!!!!
This Episode aired February 14th, Valentine's Day, and let me tell you, whoever got this recipe for a Valentine totally hates their life. Without further ado, and without dragging this out much further, so that I can appropriately ridicule this recipe:
Paula Deen's Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole.
This is the most horrifying foodstuff we can think of. Absolutely. Hands down. There is nothing on this planet that is more disgusting to think of than ham and bananas. Except maybe cheese and bananas. From Food Network's Website:
"Today’s show is all about bananas and wait till you see some of the sweet and savory dishes Paula’s got up her sleeves. First off are her crunchy and buttery Curry Crusted Bananas. Then she’s turning bananas into a savory Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole--wait till you see the surprise ingredient she’s adding. She’ll top off the menu with a Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich that is so sweet and delicious, you may want to save some for dessert."
The surprise ingredient? Are you sure it's not...HAM? Because I was pretty damned surprised to find out that you were adding lunchmeat to bananas. Lunch. Meat. Also, please be sure to pay attention to the rest of those things: Curry crusted bananas. Curry. Crusted. Bananas. And the Fried Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich. I can't fault her on that last one. I have in fact had one of those and yes, they are delicious. Strange in texture, but delicious nonetheless.
This post, however, is not about The King's culinary proclivities. This is about a Banana ham fuck brain aneurysm.
Oh, Paula.
So this month, Paula wins the dubious award of "Scariest Recipe of The Month." If any of you are brave enough to try this, I've enclosed the recipe.
And any one of you chef's in training: send us your scariest recipe and see if you can't beat Paula in March.
Paula Deen's Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole
(Recipe courtesy of PaulaDeen.com)
Butter
12 slices white bread
8 large slices deli ham
4 bananas, sliced on the bias
2 cups shredded Cheddar
2 cups crushed potato chips
6 slices cooked and crumbled bacon
4 large eggs
1 cup milk
1 cup cream
Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Butter a 9 by 13 glass baking dish. Butter both sides of the bread and layer 6 of them into the bottom of the baking dish, overlapping them as necessary but keep them even. Layer the slices of ham on top of the bread and then the bananas, 6 more slices of bread, then the cheese, potato chips, and bacon. In a separate bowl, beat together the eggs, milk, cream, nutmeg, salt, and pepper. Pour this over the casserole almost to the top. Bake for 45 minutes until brown and bubbly. Cut into squares and remove with a spatula, like lasagna.
Yeugh.
